August 14, 2010...my baby's THREE!!

You have moments as a mom where you become a little overwhelmed with how life has flown by. Like all of a sudden you look at your children on a certain day and realize that so much has happened and they have changed so quickly. It's the definition of bitter-sweet. I feel like that today as I sit here thinking about Kaiya turning THREE!! How is that possible? I really don't quite understand and I really am taken back by it! But also so excited for this little girl to be growing up and experiencing more and more of what life has to offer her!

In many ways, her birth, her first breath of life, her sweet cooing seem literally like they happened a few hours ago. And then in so many other ways, I can't remember being alive without her and it feels like she has ALWAYS been here with us! She is such a little person now...no longer a baby, but not quite completely independent of mom and dad, which I am grateful for. I feel like those days of independence are moving on me too fast and I'm not ready for her to not NEED me! One thing is absolutely for certain, though, I live and breathe for this girl. She holds such a large piece of my heart in a way that no single other person can. To say that she is special to us is so much of an understatement, it's almost not even worth saying! But man is she special!! So much has happened in Kai's 3rd year of life! Here are some highlights:

Kaiya moved into her big girl bed and never looked back! She absolutely loves it, loves that all of her soft friends can sleep on it with her! She is still such a tremendous sleeper -- naps still, loves to sleep with a blanket pulled close around her, and really never wakes up at night. One funny little thing. Sometimes if she is not quite ready to fall asleep, she will pull back her blinds and just sit in her window. She isn't loud (in fact, usually we can't ever even hear her). But she just sits in her window and watches what is going on outside. If it's dark, she looks at the stars or the street lights. If it's still light outside, she watches the cars going or waves to mom and dad while they are watering the plants. It is the cutest thing to see her sweet little head in the window, just taking in the world.

Kaiya is such a good big sister. I mean, seriously. She loves Taylor so much! Although she's not quite to the age of being super helpful, the fact that she plays so well with Taylor and keeps her so occupied is a HUGE help! And she is great at bringing me diapers or Taylor's cup or sharing her food with Tay. She always has to be first into Taylor's room when she hears Taylor waking up from her naps, when she wants Taylor to follow her she pats her leg like she's calling a dog! She always wants Taylor to be upstairs with her when she is up there playing, and she asks Taylor every time she poops, "Taylor, what did you do?" Another one of my favorite things she says to Taylor is, "What are you doing, Tay-tay, you wittle tinker (little stinker)?" She says it to be funny and it is really funny! And now that mommy is pregnant again, Kaiya asks me about 30 times a day to kiss my tummy and always wants to say hi to the "new baby" (that's what she calls it). I'm soooo glad she is our oldest -- she fills that role so well and I know she will throughout her life as well!

Kaiya also loves, loves, loves Chase. I can't describe the bond she has with that dog. She always wants to feed him, makes sure he has water in his bowl, and always wants to play with him. She loves to sit on his back (and thank goodness he's really patient with that), loves when he gives her kisses and whenever we pull into the garage, she likes us to roll down her window so Chase can jump up and say hi. Though there are days when I think I wouldn't mind if Chase got "lost", the bottom line is that Kaiya would be devastated without her best friend! He'll be here for a long time!

Kaiya is such a sensitive little girl. Always has been. She is sensitive to other people. Whenever anyone is crying, she gets really nervous and if she knows them, she will go up and pat them and say, "What's wrong?" with the most concerned look on her face. While I have been sick during this pregnancy, every time I throw up, Kaiya is right by my side, rubbing my leg, saying, "Mommy, you ok?" A few times she even started crying because she was so concerned. If Taylor is really upset, Kaiya cries. If someone pushes her or is mean to her, her feelings get so hurt. I sometimes want her to fight back, but it's not her way, not in her nature. And I'm glad she's so kind and so sweet. I would much rather have that than have her being the one pushing or taking things from people!

But one of the most beautiful things about her sensitive nature is how sensitive she is to spiritual things, even at such a young age. One day back several months ago, and it was really out of the blue, she walked up to me while we were getting ready for church, and says, "Jesus loves you!" We had not taught her to say that. She just knew. She loves to hug and kiss our Christus statue. She loves to say "hi" to His picture. We can see the temple from our house and one day Kai was outside with Chris. Again, completely out of the blue, she says, "I gonna go to the temple and get marry, ok dad? And then we come home and have cupcakes for my birthday!" Chris could not believe she had said that. It's not like we're talking about temple marriage just yet at our house, but she said she wanted to get married in the temple! And now she says that pretty much on a daily basis! And she is sooooo excited when she talks about getting "marry" at the temple! She also talks about how Jesus lives there and how she wants to go see Jesus at the temple! It is pretty amazing to hear her talk so matter-of-factly about such spiritual things. She just knows. It is so beautiful!

Besides being sensitive and sweet, Kaiya is just a funny, FUN little girl! The things she says sometimes literally crack me up. Even when she's being naughty, I sometimes have to turn away so she won't see me smiling! She makes us laugh on a regular basis and she doesn't even have to try! She loves to play with the neighbor kids. She absolutely loves going to nursery! She loves to watch Peter Pan and Toy Story and Veggie Tales. She loves to read so much! She moves from book to book to book, always telling her version of what is happening, in her own little world. And she loves to have us read to her the real version of the stories too, so she can retell them later! She loves to push Taylor around in their little car. She loves, loves, loves to be outside. She loves to roll around on the grass, chase bugs on the sidewalk (even though she doesn't quite understand that they die when she squishes them), throw balls to Chase, get wet in the sprinklers, swim, dig in the dirt, and wrestle with daddy. Lately, we let her stay outside with us in this cool summer evenings until the sun goes down. Yeah, it's past her bedtime, but nothing makes her happier. And nothing makes us happier than those precious moments we get to have after Taylor has gone to bed, to be alone with her! We're really going to miss summer around here!

Kaiya loves her cousins, loves her grandma and grandpa, loves to be around people and kids and friends, but doesn't want the attention to be on her. She's happy to give the spotlight to those kids who need it! She would much rather just be in the background doing her own thing. I worry sometime that she will get lost in the crowd, but that's where she is happiest! She is always sure, though, to come up and give a hug or a kiss to someone she is with, just to make sure they haven't forgotten that she is there!

Kaiya loves to color and loves to build things. Sometimes it's just stacking my canned food in the grocery cart as we shop. Sometimes it's making all of her little toys line up clear across the floor. Most of the time it's building things with her blocks. She also loves to learn. She's such a sponge. She loves to play with her flash cards and will ask 100 questions about something until she understands it. I am amazed at her memory. Random things, like the other day we were playing with some alphabet flash cards and there was a picture of a unicorn. She asked what it was, I was tempted to tell her it was a horse because I thought that would be easier to remember, but I gave her the name, and a few days later, when she saw it again, she called it a unicorn (and that one is currently her favorite flash card). She is learning her alphabet sounds now and again, I am always amazed at how quickly she picks things up and remembers them! She is starting pre-school in the fall, and although I am FREAKING out to let her go, she will love it and love the structured learning time!!

Kaiya is a pretty good eater. She, of course, would choose candy and treats any day of the week, and asks for those about 2 million times a day. But she also loves her fruit (currently blueberries are her favorite, even though she calls them cherries) and eats that pretty non- stop! She's really good about trying anything you give her, but if it doesn't suit her fancy, she's sure to tell you, "I don't like it!"

She definitely reached the age of tantrums this past year and we will be happy when this phase passes (hopefully she exits it before Taylor enters it)! Wow, she can turn it on and off at the drop of a hat. She even gets an attitude when I tell her to go to her room when she's having a "moment" and will slam her door shut! Yikes! I'm not sure I will be able to handle having teenagers! But on the flip side of that, you have never met a more affectionate little girl! She is our cuddler and never tires of passing out hugs and kisses, loves to sit in our laps, loves to have her back scratched, loves to hold hands when we're driving in the car, and gives a good eskimo kiss as well! I hope she never gets tired of giving loves cause she is so good at it! And even though she is shy sometimes, she will give literally anyone hugs and kisses if they ask!

This year has brought so much change. It is simply amazing to see the rate of rapid growth in children. I wonder at their little minds that can take so much in, how their little bodies never seem to tire of exploring the world and playing and laughing, their little hearts that are so forgiving and love without prejudice or judgment, their little spirits yearning to feel close again to the home they left not so long ago and the teachings that make them feel those feelings of being "home" again. Kaiya experiences all these "firsts" on a regular basis and the gift for us is that we get to experience these "firsts" right there with her, as her family, her parents. I want it to slow down every day, but I'm always so curious what she will discover and learn next that I can't escape the anxious feeling of watching her take off! Kaiya, I want you to know that I am honored to be your mom. No greater gift has ever been given to me in all the world. I feel like I won the lottery the day Jessika chose to place you in our family. No people should be so lucky but we are and there's not one single day that goes by that our hearts do not fill to overflowing with gratitude and love for you. With such a gift comes an overwhelming sense of responsibility to you. I desire every day to be better for you and for your siblings. You deserve so much in life and I hope I can give it all to you, and teach you how to cope when it doesn't always go the way we want for you. Your heart is so big, so willing to love, so kind that sometimes I wonder if it will burst out of your chest. I hope you always stay so sweet! I hope you always know and feel of the many, many people who love you and want the best for you, special girl. I hope you know that as my daughter, I am bonded to you with such an unbreakable bond for life. I will always be here for you. I will always try my best to teach you, to love you, to care for your needs. I know your daddy feels the same. I love you more than is possible for me to express, so I'll try every day to show you so you never doubt how I feel about you! Happy Birthday, my big, growing, beautiful little Kaiya-bear!! I hope being THREE is full of so much fun and excitement for you! Loves!!