Has it really been?

Has it really been over a week, almost two, since our lives were turned upside down in the best of ways?! I can't believe how much little Tay has already changed and it makes me sort-of sad that the newborn stage lasts for such a SHORT period of time and that these little angels change sooo quickly! I've had lots of people ask about life for us in the past week, so let me get some of my thoughts down.

I was spoiled rotten and got to have my husband home from work for the first week. I maybe kind-of insisted on this since my mom is in India and a girl needs a little help, right?! It was seriously HEAVEN with Chris here, I can't even tell you. He is the most attentive, supportive, helpful person on the planet and did EVERYTHING he could to make life easier on all of us. He was so good at loving on Kaiya as my attention had to be diverted most of the time to caring for a new baby and waddling around trying to let myself recover. I was so grateful for that because I think it made the transition for her a lot easier. He cleaned, he was my extra pair of hands (nursing kind-of ties you to your chair for most of the day), he even made sure I got out on my own for an hour or two here and there. He really just did anything and everything and I am soooo glad he was here. He went back to work on Tuesday and I have to admit, I cried when he left! I all the sudden felt very vulnerable and alone and realized how much I need my husband and how great he is! We survived, though. But oh how we all missed him!

(isn't this so sweet? it reminds me of when I used to do the same thing with my dad!)

Life has definitely changed, of course. I think the biggest thing for me has been feeling a little trapped and stir-crazy in the house. Nursing Taylor kind-of makes it difficult to find a chunk of time to get out and I'm not really wanting to take her out and about just yet anyway. Kaiya and I are used to being out a lot, running errands or meeting friends or going to visit daddy at work, or really, just being able to go wherever we want when we want. We did manage to make it to the park a few times, which was nice, even though I spent half the time nursing! But oh well! We are finding that there are moments when it feels very chaotic, mainly because we have no routine down yet and I am a ROUTINE girl! There have been several of those moments where we have two screaming girls, hands full with other things, and we just look at each other and shake our heads, or laugh, or for me, cry (I can certainly still blame hormones, right?!). Case in point, Saturday night when we were so stir crazy that we decided to go to the mall just to walk around for a bit. We got there, were inside for all of about 10 minutes when Tay decided she was hungry AGAIN and Kaiya decided she did NOT want to shop. Before we could make it back out to the car with our bus of a stroller (we still laugh that we are pushing a DOUBLE stroller), both girls were screaming, Kaiya had pulled her pony tails out in frustration and mom was ready to burst, if you know what I mean! So, I sat in the backseat, sweating bullets with my nursing cover on so that the entire mall parking lot did not have to have a show, feeding Taylor while Kaiya continued to have her melt-down! I had to chuckle a little bit at the scene because what else could I do?! BUT, we have also had so many of those moments when we each have a girl in our laps, or when Kaiya squeals in delight and screams "Tay-Tay" when she comes downstairs in the morning and sees Taylor for the first time, and we look at each other and repetitively say "how did we ever get TWO of the most beautiful, perfect, sweet little girls?!" It's a balancing act of craziness and gratitude for our blessings! I sometimes wonder how a person so tiny can change the world for a family in so many different ways!

Kaiya has done really well for the most part. But when Chris went back to work, I was worried about how she would deal. As I suspected, she has had a rough few days. She cries so hard when Taylor cries and I think Tay's cries make Kaiya really nervous. She also has definitely wanted my attention when I am feeding Tay and works really hard (in good and bad ways) to get it. But to me, the most important thing is that she never takes her frustration out on Taylor. She seriously LOVES her sister. She kisses her about 800 times a day and thinks it is so funny when Taylor makes noises (other than crying). I love to see that -- it completely melts my heart. She is going to be such a good big sister! Unfortunately, Kaiya got a stomach bug last night and has been throwing up all night long, so she has had to be quarantined from her sister for awhile. I've got Tay in our bedroom and Chris slept on the couch with Kaiya in the port-a-crib all night. Again, what a guy. He is trying to keep Kaiya away from Tay and I so that we don't get sick because Tay getting this bug would NOT be a good thing. But it breaks my heart to not be able to comfort and hug and hold my little girl while she's sick. Daddy is doing a great job, but my arms are aching to hold her and make her feel better when I hear her crying. Let's hope and pray this is a VERY fast bug and will be gone soon. Honest to goodness, Kaiya has NEVER thrown up in two years and she happens to get sick when we have a one week old baby! What are the chances?!

So, that's a bit about our lives in the past week or so. Taylor went to the doctor on Tuesday and she was already back up to her birth weight at a week old, so she is definitely a good eater. She has also been giving me 4 or 4.5 hour stretches of sleep at night the past few nights, which has been HEAVENLY! She's a wonderful baby -- very mellow like her daddy, but very alert when she is awake and very sure when she wants something to eat (like her mom, hehe) -- no messing around there. And she smiles a ton, I'm not kidding! Whatever the reason is, I don't know, but it is so dang cute, I can't handle it!

I am so grateful for my little family, even in those moments of chaos and crying. Every single bit of adjustment and change is worth it to have these 3 people in my life. I could not love them more and I look forward to the many happy and maybe crazy days ahead for our family of FOUR!