Women to celebrate!

This time of year is so special! I love that we have these days set aside to CELEBRATE good women, because so often our society does not honor the GOOD that women do and possess, but the focus can be on the ugly and the bad! Sorry, this is a long post, but I have so many feelings in my heart for so many special women in my life, I have to share!

First off, Saturday we got to celebrate Birth Mother's Day! And the even better treat was that Jess happened to be in town this weekend, so we got to be WITH her on this special day! I have written a lot about this special young woman, but still find it very difficult to express what she really means to us. It has been a little over two years that we have known her, when she came into our lives through events that are, for our family, miraculous and beyond special. I so vividly remember the day that Chris and I sat in the car outside of our agency, nervously waiting for our first meeting with someone who MIGHT be interested in placing with us (that was all that we were told). As we sat there in that parking lot, holding hands, we saw a white truck pull up and out stepped a mother and father and a beautiful, barely-showing young girl. We wondered if that was her!! And we soon came to find out that it was! We had no idea what this beautiful girl was about to tell us that would change our lives forever. Just minutes later, we were in the same room with her, talking and sharing, feeling nervous, but surprisingly feeling like we had known her forever. And then she handed us a card which said, "It's a GIRL!", and we hear her telling us that she wants us to have her, that she had CHOSEN us. And that was it. Jessika changed our lives in those short moments. We would spend so much precious time with her over the coming months, going to doctor's appointments, long talks, meeting up whenever we had the chance, sharing love for a life that would join us forever. It almost seems surreal to reflect back on that now. What would life be like if she had not found us?! It's not possible to imagine and I'm so grateful that we don't have to imagine it! I am reminded of the words of one of my very favorite songs, "Delivered": "And even though you may not get to hold her for awhile, a piece of you will be with her, every time she smiles. And when she looks at her reflection, she'll see traces of the face, of the one who made the sacrifice to send her to this place." I see those traces every single day. I see little expressions in Kaiya's smile and in her eyes, that are 100% Jessika and it reminds ME everyday of what a precious gift we were given by someone so selfless and wise beyond her years. The feelings never fade, but have grown even stronger as we watch our beautiful daughter grow, as we watch Jessika making so much of her life and are so proud of her, and especially for me, now that I am pregnant. To make a decision like Jessika did, and stick with it because she knew it was right, is still something that I marvel at and can now only begin to understand in the smallest degree as I carry a child, just like Jessika did. She is incredible. She is our angel. She has brought more joy into our lives through Kaiya than we could have ever, ever imagined when we started the whole adoption process. She holds a place in all of our hearts that is reverent and sacred and special to us and ALWAYS will be. So, Jess, we wish you a very Happy Birth Mother's Day. We love you. We thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

Then on to celebrating Mother's Day! I LOVE this day for so many reasons. I love that I now celebrate this day being a mom, instead of just dreaming it like I did for so many years. And my heart is so tender for the mother's in waiting. SOOOO tender. I know what this day can feel like in those difficult times. And I hope for them and know that the Lord provides a way. I love that this year, I am BIG with child (hehe, it's so fun to say that), and am experiencing a whole new phase of motherhood that I, again, have dreamed of for years. I don't understand how I have been so blessed, but the miracles of motherhood that have been given to me over these last few years are so humbling and so special to me, I can't even describe it! All it takes is one look at my sweet girl (and soon to be two), and I completely and totally feel like the lucky one, that I get to be Kaiya's mom. She is soooo precious to me and the joy of my life! I'm sure Taylor will bring the same kinds of feelings, only now they will be doubled!

I love that I have this day to think of the women in my life that I look to as examples, the women who have provided learning experiences and advice and guidance to me as I sometimes awkwardly and insecurely face the challenges of being a mom. To my mother-in-law, who has the heart of a saint and is so full of charity; to my grandmother's, who continue to live lives of such complete faithfulness and zest and energy (seriously in their upper 80's, how do they do it?!), to my sister, who I have looked up to in so many ways throughout my whole life and who I am so grateful to be sharing pregnancy with for the first time, and sisters-in-law, who really feel like SISTERS to me. To so many good friends over the years who lend support and show me both the strength and soft hearts that women possess.

I love, most of all, this day to think of my wonderful mother. In her absense, I seem to be finding myself thinking of her even more. There are so many wishes in my heart for her to be here right now, at this particular time in my life, but they are selfish because I have gotten to have her for over 30 years and now I see the lives she has touched and is touching throughout the world and I realize that someone as special as she is, needs to be shared!

(Isn't she so beautiful in her sari?!)

And somehow, by the tender mercies of the Lord, I DO feel her here. I feel her close through her words of encouragement and constant interest in our lives, when I see that beautiful face on the webcam, ALWAYS smiling (which has always been so typical of my positive and optimisic mom), when I see her interacting and being silly with Kaiya, as if she were right here in the room with her and to see Kaiya's face light up like the sun when gaama is on the computer! She is HERE and I love that she makes every effort to be HERE! And no matter what, I am the lucky one who gets to be her DAUGHTER and that never changes, whether she is near or far! Lucky is an understatement! I admire to no end, my mom's talent, her courage to face new and very foreign circumstances, her cheer and true joy with life, her ability to find the good and positive in every situation, her committment to serving others, and her love of the Lord. She has taught me over all these years, how to be a good and supportive wife, a tireless cheerleader for her children, a grandmother who is EVER involved in the lives of her cherished grandchildren, a true friend, a disciple of Christ, and a person of true charity. I have such a long way to go, but if I can ever become someone as half as GOOD as she is, I will feel that I accomplished something. Mom, I miss you so much. I truly celebrate you today, I think of you today (as I do each and every day), and I express my gratitude for the life you live and give. You have always been the most incredible mother and I hope you feel the love of your children and grandchildren accross these many miles on this special day!

And to my sweet family, you spoil me way too much! My feet feel fantastic (and from what I can see, over that huge belly, they look pretty cute finally, minus how swollen they are!), I smile every time I see those beautiful flowers, and Chris, my goodness -- banana pancakes?! You are the BEST! I am the luckiest mother on the planet and I love each of you with all my heart!