Nuts and Bonkers
At this point in my pregnancy, I'm beginning to feel a bit like I am going crazy! Seriously, BONKERS!
First of all, the dreams. Oh the dreams! Every night I have the most bizarre, wacky, nonsensical dreams and because I have such bad insomnia, I tend to remember all the dreams because I wake up so often during them. A few examples: a few nights ago, we rented Twilight and that night, I was dreaming nonstop of vampires and being in the movie myself and all sorts of weirdness. Last night was quite the kicker, though. I had a dream where my sister-in-law somehow had delivered my baby for me (thanks, LeAnne!). I was really annoyed in my dream and when I asked her why she had delivered my baby, she said, very nonchalantly, "Well, I was coming to the hospital to have my own baby (and no, she is not even pregnant right now), so since I was going to be here anyway, I thought I would just have yours as well." Hmmm, that makes perfect sense...or absolutely no sense whatsoever! On top of that, though, my little baby girl was actually a little boy! So, my brother Jason comes walking into the room with this little red-headed boy (who actually looked more like a 6 month old than a newborn baby), wearing little overalls, and I was devastated! I woke up all stressed out because I didn't have a boy name picked out!! Again, that all makes perfect sense, right?!
To top off the weird dreams, and to add to my night-time issues, my mind is in absolute overdrive! It makes me feel like I am going nuts! I will admit, I am a bit of a worrier. Which is one of the reasons it is so great to be married to Chris. He is the perfect balance to my worrying because he has the wonderful "everything will be fine" attitude, which constantly mellows me out. However, when it's 3 in the morning and I am wide awake, mind racing 100 miles an hour with thoughts of worry, he's not much help! My worrying ranges from all sorts of topics. Like, what if I don't know when I am in labor? What do I need to take to the hospital with me? What on earth am I going to do with Kaiya when it's time to head to the hospital (the closest family I have is my sister, but she will be in the delivery room with me)? And on top of that, what if it is in the middle of the night, then REALLY what will I do with Kaiya?! And with Chris working an hour away every day, will he be able to get here in time? With no mom to come and help out, how am I going to be able to handle recovering AND trying to take care of a new baby AND my sweet Kaiya? Do I have everything I need? Why do I feel like I have completely forgotten EVERYTHING from when Kaiya was a newborn and that I'm doing this all over again for the first time?! Aughhh!!!
All these thoughts and worries and crazy dreams are enough to make me feel like I am going a bit crazy! And they are definitely NOT helping with my very annoying insomnia every night! On the bright side, at least it's good preparation for the sleepless nights ahead, but I would kind-of prefer to use this time to get in as much GOOD sleep as I can! I know it all works itself out, I just wish I could convince my brain of this so it could turn off and go to sleep!! Am I normal? Or am I really going nuts?!
First of all, the dreams. Oh the dreams! Every night I have the most bizarre, wacky, nonsensical dreams and because I have such bad insomnia, I tend to remember all the dreams because I wake up so often during them. A few examples: a few nights ago, we rented Twilight and that night, I was dreaming nonstop of vampires and being in the movie myself and all sorts of weirdness. Last night was quite the kicker, though. I had a dream where my sister-in-law somehow had delivered my baby for me (thanks, LeAnne!). I was really annoyed in my dream and when I asked her why she had delivered my baby, she said, very nonchalantly, "Well, I was coming to the hospital to have my own baby (and no, she is not even pregnant right now), so since I was going to be here anyway, I thought I would just have yours as well." Hmmm, that makes perfect sense...or absolutely no sense whatsoever! On top of that, though, my little baby girl was actually a little boy! So, my brother Jason comes walking into the room with this little red-headed boy (who actually looked more like a 6 month old than a newborn baby), wearing little overalls, and I was devastated! I woke up all stressed out because I didn't have a boy name picked out!! Again, that all makes perfect sense, right?!
To top off the weird dreams, and to add to my night-time issues, my mind is in absolute overdrive! It makes me feel like I am going nuts! I will admit, I am a bit of a worrier. Which is one of the reasons it is so great to be married to Chris. He is the perfect balance to my worrying because he has the wonderful "everything will be fine" attitude, which constantly mellows me out. However, when it's 3 in the morning and I am wide awake, mind racing 100 miles an hour with thoughts of worry, he's not much help! My worrying ranges from all sorts of topics. Like, what if I don't know when I am in labor? What do I need to take to the hospital with me? What on earth am I going to do with Kaiya when it's time to head to the hospital (the closest family I have is my sister, but she will be in the delivery room with me)? And on top of that, what if it is in the middle of the night, then REALLY what will I do with Kaiya?! And with Chris working an hour away every day, will he be able to get here in time? With no mom to come and help out, how am I going to be able to handle recovering AND trying to take care of a new baby AND my sweet Kaiya? Do I have everything I need? Why do I feel like I have completely forgotten EVERYTHING from when Kaiya was a newborn and that I'm doing this all over again for the first time?! Aughhh!!!
All these thoughts and worries and crazy dreams are enough to make me feel like I am going a bit crazy! And they are definitely NOT helping with my very annoying insomnia every night! On the bright side, at least it's good preparation for the sleepless nights ahead, but I would kind-of prefer to use this time to get in as much GOOD sleep as I can! I know it all works itself out, I just wish I could convince my brain of this so it could turn off and go to sleep!! Am I normal? Or am I really going nuts?!
posted by Chris Grover at 9:12 PM
8 Comments:
Let's see, you have about 7/8 weeks to go? YEP! Totally when my insanity starts kicking in. To me, the last 8 weeks feel about as long as the other 32. I think it's all the things you can't seem to control that are all in your mind, like you said.
Do you know how often I would get up and just blog surf and EAT in the middle of the night because I couldn't sleep and just laying there was making my mind go even crazier? Ugh! You're resurfacing so many buried memories! :-) But I absolutely love hearing about them.
I always had x-boyfriend type dreams and they really wierded me out. I had dreams of giving birth to a cat, and I was so sad but tried really hard to think it was cute. Your dream made me LOL!
Oh yes, I remember those awesome dreams, worries and pretty much everything else. Its sad to say though it will only get worse with sleeping. For me my siatic nerve killed, which made it so uncomfortable to sleep. The docs say make sure you get a lot of sleep. Well how can I when Im in pain and it is so uncomfortable to lay down. haha!!
You will find that when you go in labor you will KNOW!! Cause it hurts!! When I had my first I asked people "how do you know your in labor?" They basically said "If you can't walk, breath, or talk through the pain and if your water breaks of course, go to the hospital!"
It will all work out and will you will know. GOOD LUCK!!!
Totally normal! But I hope you start sleeping better so you get some good sleep in before Tay Tay comes! Also, I know I've mentioned this before, but seriously I can totally come up for a few nights or whatever you need(right around your due date) so I'm there to stay with Kaiya (if that's helpful). Just let me know. Good talking yesterday :)
Yep, as the others said, totally normal. To tell you the truth I have had insomnia ever since I had my first child and it has never gone away. I think the more kids, the more worried you are about things, but I love it. I have a clearer mind at night and that is where I come up with all of my ideas, as long as you learn to deal with them, or write them down so you can go back to bed.
I am so excited for you and can't wait to see that post telling everyone you are headed to the hospital. As for things to bring, make sure you bring something that soothes you like music. That is great that Brittany will be with you in the delivery room. I never had my mom there due to the distance, and then with the last two I had C-Sections (had C-Section with the first one also, but I did not know I was going to have to) so they would not have been able to come in anyways.
Oh you are so normal. The perks of pregnancy!
Kar--my dear sister in law! I love you dearly but there is no way I want to have your baby for you! You are going through some very natural experiences. I had crazy x-boyfriend dreams like Jaime! Now that really wireds you out! I will totally be there to help out in whatever capacity you need! The Capners were awesome when I had Ella and your mom and dad had planned a trip. They were on Midnight Alert! So, talk to Sherstine I know they would totally help out if that baby comes in the middle of the night or during the day when Chris is not there.
I still think after the little angel is born that Chris should bring Kaiya up here when he goes to work and let me take care of her during the day! Think about it!
Love you!
Okay....I live in your backyard...well, almost! But, I am MORE THAN WILLING to take Kaiya at night, during the day, anything else you want! Please call me if you need my help. I can come over there in the middle of the night so Kaiya could keep sleeping! I am here for you and I know many, many other people in the area would be too, just ask!
Thanks for coming with us today..it was soooo much fun!
I was going say YES you are just crazy Kar, but that won't work now that everyone has convinced you that you are normal! haha
Oh the worrying...you have actually been through this SORT OF once already, so everything will just come naturally again-of course except for the breastfeeding...:):):)
you just figure it out and you are such an incredible mom already, you will only get better at it!!
love ya kar
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