An amazing two years!
So, I have been thinking a lot about Kaiya's adoption over the past week or so. I mean, I always think about it, but a little bit more than normal lately. I have a good friend who has just gotten her beginning set of paperwork to start the adoption process. We have had many good and long conversations about the whole process, because of course, she has lots of questions, and I love to talk about it! I remember those confusing, uncertain, but very exciting moments of the beginning phases and how I felt like I knew NOTHING about how to even get started!
As I have been thinking about all of this, I realized that it was about this time two years ago that we were finishing all of our paperwork, getting our home visit done, our background checks were about to be approved and we were about to turn it all in to get the approval from our agency. I can still feel so deeply every emotion we were experiencing at that time and to even think about it now gives me chills. It was such an exciting, yet scary time in our lives. We had no idea how our lives would change in just a few short months. It was also about this time two years ago that there was a very sick young girl, in the early stages of pregnancy, who was making some of the most difficult decisions a person should ever have to make. I have been thinking about all that Jessika was going through during this time two years ago, while not too far away, we were going through some very different emotions ourselves. And yet, it was not too far in the future that our paths would come together and our hearts would as well, all centered on the life of one beautiful little girl, who at that point was just a little jelly bean! It's incredibe for me to ponder over the events that were taking place, the way things were lining up and coming together. The miracles of timing and decision-making and life were already starting and we didn't even know it. And Kaiya was growing safely with Jess while we unknowingly waited and prepared for her arrival into our family.
Fast-forward to a year later, when again, life was going to change for us. In just a few short weeks, one year ago, we would go to court. Kaiya was now with us, alive, beautiful, perfect, and 100% a part of our family in every way, except for the legal processes to prove it. We had experienced more joy in those 6 months since she entered our lives than we ever could have imagined. We had our baby girl!! We were desperately excited to finalize and to have her place in our family recognized legally the way it was in our hearts. We would also be going to the temple. An experience that for me, was so sacred and special that it remains tucked away in my heart where words cannot quite do it justice. Really, the thought of those precious moments in the temple, all in white, kneeling across the alter with my husband and my baby girl still leave me somewhat speechless. And I think that is appropriate, considering how important and eternal that experience was.
Two years. That's all it took for our lives to be changed forever. I could not have planned it all more perfectly. But I didn't have to. Heavenly Father had it all taken care of, and we just had to exercise our faith at every step of the journey. I can't express the gratitude I feel for what these past two years have meant to our family. And now I sit here, pregnant (still unbelievable) and I think back to what I was feeling two years ago. I wish I could tap myself on the shoulder then and tell myself to hang in there because the ride was about to get REALLY good. Little did I know just how good it would be.
Here's a little something I found from a post I did about this time two years ago that stirred a lot of emotion in me:
"We went to the temple last night, and as we were sitting there, I was blessed with that recurring feeling of peace that I have been so thankful for and which has carried me over these last few months. I sat there holding Chris' hands, and I felt, as I have a million times before, so thankful for my amazing and wonderful husband with whom I have been able to share this whole experience, the good and the bad, the disappointments and the joys. The love I have for him is just too much to even write or talk about, so I will just say that I am thankful to have him and I love him dearly. I also thought a lot about our birth mother last night and I prayed for her because while we are experiencing all this excitement, she is going through something more difficult than I will ever understand. We have recently felt the pull to include her in all our prayers as we feel that the time is coming soon when our paths will cross and when she will have to make some very diffucult decisions. It's so strange to me that we feel so much love for this person that we have never met. I guess we are starting to understand the magnitude of the part she will play in our lives and we love her for that."
As I have been thinking about all of this, I realized that it was about this time two years ago that we were finishing all of our paperwork, getting our home visit done, our background checks were about to be approved and we were about to turn it all in to get the approval from our agency. I can still feel so deeply every emotion we were experiencing at that time and to even think about it now gives me chills. It was such an exciting, yet scary time in our lives. We had no idea how our lives would change in just a few short months. It was also about this time two years ago that there was a very sick young girl, in the early stages of pregnancy, who was making some of the most difficult decisions a person should ever have to make. I have been thinking about all that Jessika was going through during this time two years ago, while not too far away, we were going through some very different emotions ourselves. And yet, it was not too far in the future that our paths would come together and our hearts would as well, all centered on the life of one beautiful little girl, who at that point was just a little jelly bean! It's incredibe for me to ponder over the events that were taking place, the way things were lining up and coming together. The miracles of timing and decision-making and life were already starting and we didn't even know it. And Kaiya was growing safely with Jess while we unknowingly waited and prepared for her arrival into our family.
Fast-forward to a year later, when again, life was going to change for us. In just a few short weeks, one year ago, we would go to court. Kaiya was now with us, alive, beautiful, perfect, and 100% a part of our family in every way, except for the legal processes to prove it. We had experienced more joy in those 6 months since she entered our lives than we ever could have imagined. We had our baby girl!! We were desperately excited to finalize and to have her place in our family recognized legally the way it was in our hearts. We would also be going to the temple. An experience that for me, was so sacred and special that it remains tucked away in my heart where words cannot quite do it justice. Really, the thought of those precious moments in the temple, all in white, kneeling across the alter with my husband and my baby girl still leave me somewhat speechless. And I think that is appropriate, considering how important and eternal that experience was.
Two years. That's all it took for our lives to be changed forever. I could not have planned it all more perfectly. But I didn't have to. Heavenly Father had it all taken care of, and we just had to exercise our faith at every step of the journey. I can't express the gratitude I feel for what these past two years have meant to our family. And now I sit here, pregnant (still unbelievable) and I think back to what I was feeling two years ago. I wish I could tap myself on the shoulder then and tell myself to hang in there because the ride was about to get REALLY good. Little did I know just how good it would be.
Here's a little something I found from a post I did about this time two years ago that stirred a lot of emotion in me:
"We went to the temple last night, and as we were sitting there, I was blessed with that recurring feeling of peace that I have been so thankful for and which has carried me over these last few months. I sat there holding Chris' hands, and I felt, as I have a million times before, so thankful for my amazing and wonderful husband with whom I have been able to share this whole experience, the good and the bad, the disappointments and the joys. The love I have for him is just too much to even write or talk about, so I will just say that I am thankful to have him and I love him dearly. I also thought a lot about our birth mother last night and I prayed for her because while we are experiencing all this excitement, she is going through something more difficult than I will ever understand. We have recently felt the pull to include her in all our prayers as we feel that the time is coming soon when our paths will cross and when she will have to make some very diffucult decisions. It's so strange to me that we feel so much love for this person that we have never met. I guess we are starting to understand the magnitude of the part she will play in our lives and we love her for that."
Like I said, little did I know what the next two years would bring. A beautiful story was about to unfold and continues to unfold today. I am so thankful!
posted by Chris Grover at 10:42 AM
11 Comments:
Your whole story, life, example, and faith are all so inspiring! Thank you for sharing!
*and when will you share photos of your growing little tummy? ;)
Karli, I'm sincerely happy for you and your two precious miracles... getting a small glimpse into your beautiful life really does offer a hope of good things to come.
I appreciate your thoughts here on so many different levels. It was two years ago for us, too, when we were finishing up our adoption paperwork, then almost a year ago when our twins were miraculously conceived. We got to that point where we thought the ride was just getting good, when it appears to have gone horribly wrong. And, reading about you wanting to go back in time and tap yourself on the shoulder, to give that reassurance that wonderful blessings lie ahead... I want so badly to tell myself that, too. Your post today has stirred a lot of feelings in me that needed to be stirred. And, I'm grateful for that.
Thank you for writing this post. It brought so many emotions and memories for me I just sit here with tears in my eyes. What a wounderful miracle God has brought to you and an amazing journey.
You have such a way of putting things. I am comforted by your faith and the blessings you have received because of it. I look to you guys as wonderful examples of holding on, keeping the faith, and maybe just maybe, one day things will work out. You guys are great and deserve every blessing that comes your way!
I love that your dreams have come true and that you have a sweet daughter and another child on the way! It is amazing what the difference of just two years is.
I enjoyed your reflection of the miraclous events of the past 2 years. It made me think even further back when you were being tested to the max trying to conceive but the Lord always opened the next door and let you enter to proceed. All of our faith has been strengthened by that of you and Chris; "trusting in the Lord in all your doings..."
We stand amazed at the Lord's tender mercies.
I love your story! Reading that today has some what given me hope that one day my story will start unfolding with some of the happy events I am so longing for, but part of the unfolding process takes learning patience. Thanks you for sharing your thoughts! Very touching.
I am so out of touch! I haven't looked at your blog nor Tiffany's in while because the time I do have without kids pulling on me, I need to be getting things done...and now I find out Tiff adopted again and you are pregnant! How exciting. I can't tell you how much I love being pregnant! I love it! But we aren't ready for another one just yet so it will be a while longer before I'm pregnant again! I totally recommend the book "The Thinking Women's Guide to a Better Birth" by Henci Goer. Make sure to educate yourself and don't be afraid to ask questions and listen to your internal instinct and mother nature! Other than that, I should probably keep my opinions to myself until asked for them. Congrats!
You are amazing Karli. And guess what dude? Happy Dork Dot and MTC anniversary tomorrow!! (2/16) Can you believe it's been 9 (9!!!!) years!? Loads of love Sassy. Love me.
Thank you so much for this post. You are so beautifully insightful. Thank you for your example of faith.
I just realized that you are SO on the countdown of your next baby now! Yeah! Oh, hey, we're going to be in Logan this weekend...please let's get together! I will give you a call!
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