Pregnancy, this week

Yes, sorry, another pregnancy post! But come on people, it's getting so close, that it's kind of all that is on my mind these days!

We have less than two weeks. In mere days, I will be a mother of THREE beautiful little girls! Honest to goodness, if you would have told me that just a few years ago, I would have probably called you a liar...right to your face! And now I'm the one saying it, and it's not a lie, and my heart is melting over it! It is so surreal and unexpected that it doesn't even come out of my mouth very easily! Three kids. Three girls!

This week, pregnancy has found me very sentimental-like.

I remember getting this way with both Kaiya and Taylor as well. Kaiya, well, for very obvious reasons. First child, adoption miracles, etc, etc. With Taylor, there was worry for how Kaiya would deal with a new sibling, wonder about what kind of little person Chris and I had created, fear and excitement over the unknowns of labor and delivery, etc, etc. And now, we wait for another little angel to come into our family, and I find my thoughts very similar to those of the other girls and also some new thoughts and emotions thrown into the mix. It's such a beautiful time to reflect, to anticipate, to have some quiet moments before life is turned upside down to just think.

This pregnancy has been a lot harder on me. In a lot of ways. And while, with Taylor, EVERYTHING about pregnancy was so new and fascinating for me and I loved being swept away in that, I find myself appreciating this one in a different way because of the struggles it has brought. I have felt, in my own very small way, the beauty of sacrifice for the life I have been blessed to carry. Though the sacrifices are so small in comparison to some, they still have given me a clearer understanding of what a miracle this whole process is. The miracle of creating life, of giving life, of being a mother. A clearer understanding, also, of what it meant for another person to go through such physical sacrifices, knowing that the child they carried would be placed into someone else's arms. It has made me appreciate the miracle of life that each of my children have been in their own special and unique ways.

I find myself being so carried away in wonder about this little girl. Will she look just like Taylor or have a look all her own? What will her personality be like and what special gifts will she bring to our family? What will it feel like to hold such a tiny, little person in my arms again (I am amazed at how quickly you forget what that's like)?

Wonder about her also brings wonder about her sisters. Just like when Taylor was born, I have the same worries about how this will effect the worlds of Kaiya and Taylor. I feel more at ease this time, knowing that the girls will go through the transition with each other and will have the comfort of each other. That has helped a lot. But still, there will be another person coming home to take mommy and daddy's time and attention. I worry about having enough energy to give all three of them what they need and what they deserve out of their mommy. But then I also remember the gift that these girls have in being sisters. In being close to each other in age and in the comfort that is to be found in the familiarity of your siblings. I am reassured by the thought that sometimes it is your siblings who provide comfort in ways that not even parents can. I think it will all work out. I think there will be three little girls who fall in love with each other pretty easily and pretty quickly and pretty naturally (sprinkled with a little jealousy and acting out of sorts, to be expected). And I find myself feeling so, so, so grateful for prayer and for the reassuring help of a loving Heavenly Father who knows these little girls better than I do, wants for their happiness in a way not even I can fully understand, and will give the help to me and to Chris in our efforts to do our best for them. I know we will all need His help and I know He will be there.

So, my body continues to feel VERY ready for this little girl to come. My heart is ready too. I cannot wait to meet her and hold her close. But for days to come, I will also appreciate and enjoy these quiet moments of thought and of appreciating the miracles of my children. I know the quiet moments are going to become very scarce once she's here, so I'm trying to really use them now. My heart is so grateful and I am really humbled by what I have in this family of mine. Just a few more days, little sweetness, till we finally meet!